There are some ground rules to be laid down before I begin this post. The below mentioned is from my experience and can be held to be true mostly if -
a) You have chosen your partner by your own volition ( I know everybody does this!) But what I mean is you have known that person long enough to be sure you have intellectual, emotional, spiritual and physical compatibility before you agree to be binded by the contract of marriage. ( In arranged marriage setups I feel the honeymoon lasts longer but I don't know what happens after that!)
b) You plan to live by yourselves without extended family or full time maid and assuming you don't have children. Naturally experiences will be different if you have more than two adults under one roof
c) You are both strong personalities and fearless! ( Not afraid to walk out of a relationship, not get pressurised by societal norms)
In such cases the honeymoon will be over as soon as life, I say life because I strongly feel marriage is a beginning of life in someways, begins! Harsh? Yes, but true! There will be expectations that are not met and there will be shock when you realize that expectations are not met. There will be bickering, there will be fights (not pillow fights, silly!) There will be periods of loneliness, there will be screaming and shouting. Bloated egos will clash and ofcourse the blame game will be played. There will be love too but there will be suspicion, disrespect and even sometimes hate. There will be sobbing, crying and broken hearts. There will be make ups and gifts too but then there will be fights again.
There will be shocking revelations and there will be compromise. Actually not compromise, getting used to the other's "shortcomings" from your point of view. There will be banging of doors and sleepless nights. There will be cribbing and complaining.
But there will be something that you feel for the other that will make you survive, that will make you kiss and say sorry, that will make you still want to be with the other ( Ofcourse it could just be that you don't want to spend so much energy in building another relationship ;)). But trust me every relationship will make you feel spent and it only gets harder each time. So as long as you feel for the other, you both have what it takes to make a marriage!
Feliz quinto anniversario! Happy 5th dear!
a) You have chosen your partner by your own volition ( I know everybody does this!) But what I mean is you have known that person long enough to be sure you have intellectual, emotional, spiritual and physical compatibility before you agree to be binded by the contract of marriage. ( In arranged marriage setups I feel the honeymoon lasts longer but I don't know what happens after that!)
b) You plan to live by yourselves without extended family or full time maid and assuming you don't have children. Naturally experiences will be different if you have more than two adults under one roof
c) You are both strong personalities and fearless! ( Not afraid to walk out of a relationship, not get pressurised by societal norms)
In such cases the honeymoon will be over as soon as life, I say life because I strongly feel marriage is a beginning of life in someways, begins! Harsh? Yes, but true! There will be expectations that are not met and there will be shock when you realize that expectations are not met. There will be bickering, there will be fights (not pillow fights, silly!) There will be periods of loneliness, there will be screaming and shouting. Bloated egos will clash and ofcourse the blame game will be played. There will be love too but there will be suspicion, disrespect and even sometimes hate. There will be sobbing, crying and broken hearts. There will be make ups and gifts too but then there will be fights again.
There will be shocking revelations and there will be compromise. Actually not compromise, getting used to the other's "shortcomings" from your point of view. There will be banging of doors and sleepless nights. There will be cribbing and complaining.
But there will be something that you feel for the other that will make you survive, that will make you kiss and say sorry, that will make you still want to be with the other ( Ofcourse it could just be that you don't want to spend so much energy in building another relationship ;)). But trust me every relationship will make you feel spent and it only gets harder each time. So as long as you feel for the other, you both have what it takes to make a marriage!
Feliz quinto anniversario! Happy 5th dear!
3 comments:
Oh Rathi! How very true! True True True to the last sentence! I can totally relate to it.
The last line .... Absolutely true and it has to be felt by both people. not just one :)
We all sail in the same boat as humans as couples :)
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