I gave four stars to Fifty Shades of Grey and Fifty Shades Darker. Now, before you roll your eyes and brand me as one of those plebian and may be even doltish women, stop! These books are selling off the rack like hot cakes and yes, when I first read the blurb I was least interested in picking it up. My thoughts were, what kind of woman likes to be controlled so much that she gets beaten and enjoys that in a sexy way?! That's an absurdity in itself and I am not touching it with a barge pole.
I don't know what changed my mind but I actually picked up Fifty Shades of Grey, just for kicks, maybe :) And I read it straight through, almost feeling breathless and so many other things that I picked up the second one too. Now, I sort of knew what to expect. But it still got me, right where it ought to and again I was burning the midnight oil and savouring the morning sun with this lovely couple and their kinky fuckery! So much so, I decided to write a blog on it!
This is what I have to say. For centuries men have had their porn which is full of visual stimulation and almost everything about a woman's physical appearance is defined by this. It is not like woman like to go get waxed and threaded every once in a while, it is purely to stimulate the men's senses that it all began. Now, even we women can't feel confident without being waxed! Recently I was reading that breasts actually don't need to be held and kept in place and in fact bras increase sagging! Yet, women wear them as men love the guessing game. Same with slightly revealing clothes and make up. Now, I am not being a feminist about all this. I accept that today's woman views herself through these prisms and they have become a part of her life. Some maybe for good and some not so. But here's my objection, I expect the same from men! Now, you don't have to go wax yourself but listen to what we have to say :)
Literature with erotism is woman's porn! Trust me, if you want your girlfriend, partner or wife to feel aroused, beautiful and wanton, gift her erotic books. We are so not into visual stuff but words that make us imagine things, bring it on. And for the love of sex, allow us to enjoy it in peace! I have had so many men scorn/question/inquire (at) me and my girlfriends for reading "such" material! We love it and trust me you want us to love it. I am pretty sure that no man, straight or gay, can get through such books. They are simply not for you. The above books may not be the best in it's category but they are good. Apart from that, since we DO so much to titillate your senses, why not extend us the same courtesy. We do like chivalry every once in a while, we love flowers or pots as gifts, we do enjoy a bit of PDA and we like it when you acknowledge your love for us in as many words as you can! We love foreplay and we love scenes that lead to sex especially if they have an emotional connect (if you really want to understand this, read "our kind of " literature). And yes, we do love a little bit of possessiveness and control but do know where to draw the line!
There were also times, while reading the books, when I felt, 'guilty' (for lack of a better word). Like I am caught with something that is censured, in my hands. And I, by no means am in a traditional or conservative family nor have been brought up in one. If it took me some amount of coaxing to myself to accept me as a sexual being, I can't imagine how hard it must be for others who actually are in stifling environments. When I say stifling, I mean not just really terrible homes where sex is treated as a sin but also in our educated, rising income, so-called-liberal homes where, in a subtle manner and at a sub conscious level it is ingrained that anything to do with sex is not to be openly discussed or accepted. For both boys and girls this is the harbinger of bad relationships in the future. We accept ourselves as social beings, as intellectual beings, as emotional beings, then why not sexual beings.
For adult relationships to bloom to prosper, we have to feel complete and confident at every level. The sensual and sexual aspects of our lives have to be accepted and I mean at a family level. I strongly feel that when we are not open about these things, some people will withdraw into a shell, and they may end up depressed or suicidal even and others fantasize so much they might end up as philanderers or violent even. In some way these increase broken marriages, broken relationships, broken hearts and even violence, rapes and murders.
I am not exaggerating because I feel this is a carnal desire which if not tamed, discussed and accepted can turn us into barbaric beings. If you feel otherwise or have thoughts to share, please do.
In the meantime, men gift erotica, flowers and yourselves to women and women, go give your men some strip shows :)
I don't know what changed my mind but I actually picked up Fifty Shades of Grey, just for kicks, maybe :) And I read it straight through, almost feeling breathless and so many other things that I picked up the second one too. Now, I sort of knew what to expect. But it still got me, right where it ought to and again I was burning the midnight oil and savouring the morning sun with this lovely couple and their kinky fuckery! So much so, I decided to write a blog on it!
This is what I have to say. For centuries men have had their porn which is full of visual stimulation and almost everything about a woman's physical appearance is defined by this. It is not like woman like to go get waxed and threaded every once in a while, it is purely to stimulate the men's senses that it all began. Now, even we women can't feel confident without being waxed! Recently I was reading that breasts actually don't need to be held and kept in place and in fact bras increase sagging! Yet, women wear them as men love the guessing game. Same with slightly revealing clothes and make up. Now, I am not being a feminist about all this. I accept that today's woman views herself through these prisms and they have become a part of her life. Some maybe for good and some not so. But here's my objection, I expect the same from men! Now, you don't have to go wax yourself but listen to what we have to say :)
Literature with erotism is woman's porn! Trust me, if you want your girlfriend, partner or wife to feel aroused, beautiful and wanton, gift her erotic books. We are so not into visual stuff but words that make us imagine things, bring it on. And for the love of sex, allow us to enjoy it in peace! I have had so many men scorn/question/inquire (at) me and my girlfriends for reading "such" material! We love it and trust me you want us to love it. I am pretty sure that no man, straight or gay, can get through such books. They are simply not for you. The above books may not be the best in it's category but they are good. Apart from that, since we DO so much to titillate your senses, why not extend us the same courtesy. We do like chivalry every once in a while, we love flowers or pots as gifts, we do enjoy a bit of PDA and we like it when you acknowledge your love for us in as many words as you can! We love foreplay and we love scenes that lead to sex especially if they have an emotional connect (if you really want to understand this, read "our kind of " literature). And yes, we do love a little bit of possessiveness and control but do know where to draw the line!
There were also times, while reading the books, when I felt, 'guilty' (for lack of a better word). Like I am caught with something that is censured, in my hands. And I, by no means am in a traditional or conservative family nor have been brought up in one. If it took me some amount of coaxing to myself to accept me as a sexual being, I can't imagine how hard it must be for others who actually are in stifling environments. When I say stifling, I mean not just really terrible homes where sex is treated as a sin but also in our educated, rising income, so-called-liberal homes where, in a subtle manner and at a sub conscious level it is ingrained that anything to do with sex is not to be openly discussed or accepted. For both boys and girls this is the harbinger of bad relationships in the future. We accept ourselves as social beings, as intellectual beings, as emotional beings, then why not sexual beings.
For adult relationships to bloom to prosper, we have to feel complete and confident at every level. The sensual and sexual aspects of our lives have to be accepted and I mean at a family level. I strongly feel that when we are not open about these things, some people will withdraw into a shell, and they may end up depressed or suicidal even and others fantasize so much they might end up as philanderers or violent even. In some way these increase broken marriages, broken relationships, broken hearts and even violence, rapes and murders.
I am not exaggerating because I feel this is a carnal desire which if not tamed, discussed and accepted can turn us into barbaric beings. If you feel otherwise or have thoughts to share, please do.
In the meantime, men gift erotica, flowers and yourselves to women and women, go give your men some strip shows :)
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